Marriage is often seen as a romantic union, but it’s also a legal and financial partnership. While love is at the heart of it, practical matters like finances, property, and potential separations are unavoidable considerations. One of the best tools couples can use to navigate these concerns is a prenuptial agreement. But what if you decide not to have one? What really happens if you get married without setting these terms in advance?
Though the idea of a prenup might feel unromantic to some, understanding its absence is just as important. Many people assume that everything will naturally work out or that the law will be fair to both parties.
Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Without a prenup, the law makes the decisions for you, and those default decisions might not align with your values or expectations. Let’s explore the real consequences of not having a prenuptial agreement and why it’s important to think about this issue even before you say “I do.”
The Law Decides Who Gets What
If you don’t create your own agreement before marriage, then the laws of your province or territory will determine how your assets are divided in case of a divorce. These laws can vary significantly depending on where you live, but they often operate on the principle of equal division of marital property.
That might sound fair at first. But here’s the catch: the definition of “marital property” can include everything from the house you owned before the marriage (if it appreciated in value) to your retirement accounts and business assets. What you believed to be your personal belongings may suddenly be subject to division. You might find yourself splitting things you worked hard for long before your partner came into the picture.
Financial Surprises During Divorce
A major reason couples opt for a Prenuptial Agreement is to avoid financial surprises. Without one, divorce can bring unexpected financial obligations. For instance, you might be required to pay spousal support (commonly referred to as alimony) even if the marriage lasted only a few years. The court will look at various factors like the income disparity between you and your spouse, the standard of living during the marriage, and each party’s contributions to the household.
These factors can create complex and often emotional disputes. If you owned a business or held investments prior to the marriage, the lack of a prenup could mean that your spouse may be entitled to a portion of the value of those assets gained during the relationship. This could lead to a forced sale of assets or significant payouts to settle the division.
The Emotional Cost of Legal Battles
Divorce is rarely easy, but when there’s no prenup to guide the process, it often becomes longer and more contentious. The emotional toll can be severe, especially if both parties believe they are entitled to certain assets or financial support. Arguments over property, money, and debt are common, and the court becomes the final decision-maker in deeply personal matters.
Disagreements can drag out for months, sometimes even years, and this legal conflict can be draining. It often leads to increased resentment between partners and can make co-parenting more difficult if children are involved.
Family Heirlooms and Inheritances May Be at Risk
One often overlooked aspect of not having a prenup is the protection of family heirlooms and inherited property. Let’s say your grandmother passed down a cottage or you inherited a valuable piece of land. Without a prenuptial agreement, those assets could become entangled in divorce proceedings.
Even if inheritances are initially considered separate property, if they are co-mingled with marital assets (for example, if you use your inheritance to renovate the family home), they can become subject to division. A prenup can help ensure that family assets remain protected, regardless of how they are used during the marriage.
Protecting Children from Previous Relationships
If you or your partner have children from a previous marriage or relationship, not having a prenuptial agreement can create financial complications. In a divorce, assets might be divided in a way that unintentionally reduces the financial resources available to support children from earlier relationships.
A prenup allows you to set specific terms to protect the financial future of your children. Without one, your ability to direct your assets and support where you feel it’s most important may be limited by court decisions.
Spousal Support Obligations Could Be Unexpected
Many people don’t realize they might owe spousal support until the divorce process begins. The courts consider factors like the length of the marriage, the roles each person played, and their future earning potential. If one spouse gave up a career or education to support the other or raise children, that person may be entitled to financial compensation.
A prenuptial agreement can clarify these expectations from the beginning. Without one, you could find yourself responsible for monthly payments that strain your finances for years after the divorce is finalized.
Courts Can Override Verbal Promises
It’s common for couples to have verbal understandings about money. You might think, “We talked about this, we both agreed what’s mine stays mine.” Unfortunately, those conversations don’t hold much weight in court. Judges rely on written, signed agreements, not memories or good faith.
As Jeffrey Behrendt, a trusted Canadian family law attorney, puts it:
“People often believe that trust and verbal agreements are enough, but without a formal Prenuptial Agreement, you’re leaving critical decisions up to the court. The law doesn’t recognize informal promises, it follows the rules set by legislation, not conversations.”
Having this insight from someone who’s worked extensively in family law underscores the importance of formal legal planning. Without written clarity, you leave your future up to interpretation and risk losing more than you expected
Prenups Aren’t Just for the Wealthy
A common myth is that prenuptial agreements are only for celebrities, CEOs, or the ultra-wealthy. In reality, they are useful tools for couples of all income levels. Whether you have a modest savings account or a family business, the principles remain the same: plan ahead to avoid future conflict.
Prenups provide a clear roadmap for handling the unexpected. Even if you never divorce, knowing that you and your partner have agreed on financial matters can provide peace of mind and help build trust in your relationship.
It’s Not Just About Divorce
While most people associate prenuptial agreements with divorce, they also offer guidance in other life situations. If one partner passes away unexpectedly, a prenup can define how assets should be distributed, potentially reducing complications with the estate. This can be particularly helpful in blended families, where multiple parties may have legal claims or expectations.
Think of a prenup as part of your overall life planning. Just as you wouldn’t skip making a will or buying insurance, you shouldn’t overlook the protection that a prenup can provide.
Conclusion: Know Before You Say “I Don’t”
Choosing not to have a prenuptial agreement doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations, it just means those conversations will likely happen later, during a much more difficult time. By then, emotions are high and the stakes are even higher.
A prenuptial agreement doesn’t predict failure; it encourages honesty, fairness, and foresight. Without one, you are subject to laws that may not reflect your wishes, your sacrifices, or the life you built together.
Ultimately, love is about trust and understanding. But even the strongest relationships benefit from structure and clarity. If you’re serious about protecting what matters most, whether it’s your business, your children, or your peace of mind, taking time to consider a prenup might be one of the wisest decisions you make before getting married.
